Free
Trigger warning? Maybe? I don’t want this post to be insensitive to the struggles or decisions of others but want to shed some light on why some of your obstacles were not your fault.
There is no money to be made when we realize that all a baby needs is it’s mama. That’s really it. But the moment that mama and baby enter the hospital you both become a commodity. One of the first things done after baby is born is a weight check. If you are lucky, and in a baby-friendly hospital. Or have advocated for the rights of yourself and baby, you will get an uninterrupted hour of skin to skin before they take your little for measurements.
While it is sweet to know what your new little weighs at birth, this number, in a lot of ways, will haunt your stay. Most moms are told their baby will lose weight in the hospital but not to be worried…unless. If your baby loses “too much” weight in the hospital you may start getting some pressure for alternatives.
When my first was born, I had literally no idea how to be successful breastfeeding. That ultimately turned out well for me as I had no expectation and followed instinct. Every time you turned around I was nursing my little girl. In her first few seconds of being laid on my chest she started to root and my nurse helped me get her to latch. From then on, she was a champ. Constantly rooting, constantly nursing, constantly attached to me.
Kennedy actually gained weight in the hospital and our nurse acted like that was just unheard of. When our second was born; I actually felt quite a bit more pressure. I knew Kennedy and I had been so successful and was scared to mess it up this time around.
In Cade’s first few seconds of life…shortly after his cord was cut, he went rooting for food and was rewarded with his first taste of ‘milkies.’ Throughout our stay in the hospital I kept him close to me and nursed at every stir. But, Cade was a sleepy guy and really preferred to rest. He had come into the world over 9# but I predicted we would be dropping as we stayed.
My issue with that initial weight, is not based in any sort of medical knowledge, but my assumption that your baby is also still filled with a lot of….’goo’ contributing to that initial number. They lose a lot of that through suction, dirty diapers, adapting to the outside. Cade and I stayed in the hospital exactly 24 hours and I think he was weighed 2 more times.
The first weight check after we had arrived on postpartum he had dropped slightly. Our nurse came in and was quick to tell me he was ‘in the yellow’ which ‘is fine’ but ‘we are going to watch it and if he keeps that trend we will need to supplement with formula.’
I shook my head and said ok. I’m not a confrontational person, and didn’t think I needed to pick the battle yet. But I can tell you with 1000% confidence that baby was not going to touch formula. I trusted my body and my baby completely. I knew his weight would be fine, we would be fine, and we’d keep latching and nursing as often as possible.
I could not help but think though, if I weren’t experienced with breastfeeding, had amazing support from a doula friend, and a wonderful baby friendly OB who had given me excellent information during my pre-natal care…would I have stressed and given into my nurse based on that one comment?
I’m sure that nurse was not receiving royalties for selling me formula. But she wasn’t aware of her own implicit bias to think that formula was the answer.
My hospital experience was beyond wonderful. Again my doctor was one of the best, I had a baby-friendly hospital, friends who supported me, prior experience, and a meeting with a FANTASTIC lactation consultant while there. But even in that positive setting there was that one comment. And for a PP mama, whose entire purpose has become the safety and nourishment of her baby. Any moment of doubt can be her undoing.
I feel for the mamas who do not get support. I feel for the mamas who are pressured to make choices they did not want to. I feel for the mamas who do not get told the entirety of their options. I feel for the babies who are commoditized. You are enough for your baby. You are enough as a mama. In those early postpartum moments you may have just needed someone to remind you of that.
