Nursing
Next to sleep I think how you decide to feed your baby is one of the most stressful decisions you make as a mother. Formula feeding moms have to search for the best choice for baby while possibly processing guilt or shame over their decision not, or inability, to nurse. For my formula feeding moms; all of it is hard. Feeding your baby(ies) is a complicated decision. It is determined by many factors. You make the best choices with the information you have every day as a parent.
For this post in particular I am going to focus on a nursing mom stigma. The idea that breastfeeding moms are just ‘lucky’ to be successful at nursing. Nothing about breastfeeding is easy.
In your best case scenario, your baby is born full term, they have the ability and reflex to latch. Their latch is strong. You have a visit with a lactation consultant. Even with these aligning factors; breastfeeding is not easy. You, as the mom, are it. You are navigating a new body, you are healing, you are confused and you are responsible for the nourishment of this tiny new human.
There is a lot of pressure in those first 24 hours to keep baby fed and avoid significant weight loss. At every stir, sound or discomfort the answer is mom. The answer is to latch your baby.
Breastmilk is processed quicker and easier by babies. Meaning frequent feedings. A newborn baby has a stomach about the size of a tiny marble. Meaning frequent feedings. Night waking is normal, protective, and natural to ensure baby is fed on a 24 hour schedule. Meaning frequent feedings. Their weight will be evaluated at every doctor’s appt. Meaning frequent feedings.
A conservative estimate of how much time a mother spends nursing in the first year of life is 1800 hours. A 40 hour work week is 1960 hours in a year. That first number is just an average……
During all of the hours spent latching, nursing, burping… you have to ensure the resiliency of your nipples. In the best case scenario, there are a few days of cracking as they grow accustomed to the friction. In many situations, unaddressed latch problems could cause increased damage.
I nursed my first for 18 months. For the first 6 weeks, every time she latched on the right side I had a searing pain that would last the first sixty seconds or so. I’d grit my teeth and push through because I knew no different. At my 6 week appt I happened to meet with a midwife who specialized in lactation.
She informed me that I needed to uncurl Kennedy’s bottom lip to create a deeper latch. She also gave me a nipple cream to heal the base of my nipple where it was slowly ripping off the areola… I’m nursing my second now and still glance at the scar every time he nurses that side.
If, you make it through the 4th trimester nursing (those first 12 weeks PP) you have probably reached a point where any issues have been managed and feel fairly comfortable with your nursing routine.
For both my breastfeeding journeys I did not begin pumping until after those first 12 weeks. I let my babies determine my supply by always feeding them at the breast. I used a Hakaa milk collector to store any letdowns from the side not being directly stimulated.
I have a clear memory of sitting on the couch at my home, bawling to my mother, trying to figure out how to work my insurance issued pump a week before returning to work after I’d had my first baby. I was intimidated by all the parts and different settings. I was mourning the end of my maternity leave. And I was scared to lose my supply by replacing my baby with a pumping schedule.
I also had no idea how to work in any breaks to pump as a teacher, let alone determining how many I would need to get through a day.
For both babies my pumping schedule was determined largely by where I could fit my breaks into a teaching day.
During my work week I pump @:
6:30am-8:15am-11:30am-3:00pm
This schedule is probably not the most optimal I could have, but it works with the natural breaks that occur in my day.
I co-sleep with my baby and he tends to snack through the night but never fully empties either side. My first pumping session is my most productive.
The second session really occurs too close to my first so I just get enough out to allow me to make it to my lunch session. My second is during my off period so I pump while getting lesson plans and other things organized for my classes.
My lunch session is a rush, I have 20 minutes to eat, use the restroom, and pump sufficiently.
The final session I complete as I drive home from school.
-It is not easy to be a working mom away from her nursing baby. I’ve never spoken to a mom who enjoys pumping. Honestly it can feel degrading to have your shirt up and be hooked to a machine. I’ve had colleagues unknowingly walk into my locked room while pumping on multiple instances. It’s inconvenient and uncomfortable.
With both of my babies I have experienced D-MERs while pumping. Dysphoric milk ejection reflex. This is when you get brief but overwhelming feelings of sadness/depression in the first 1-2 minutes of your letdown.
All of it is incredibly exhausting.
However, my nursing journey with both children will remain some of the most special and significant periods of our lives. I love the bond I have made with both babies. I am proud that I was determined enough to stick through the struggles. I know that my babies are getting the absolute best nourishment I can provide them.
Nursing your baby protects them against pathogenic bacterias in their gut biome, it decrease their risk for asthma, obesity, and certain cancers. Breastmilk provides natural immune protection and is particularly good at fighting off respiratory and gastrointenstinal illnesses in baby.
If the mother has been introduced to a pathogen, your baby’s saliva will change to produce antibodies for mom. Nursing speeds up the process of mom’s uterine and pelvic healing. Nursing decreases the risks of SIDs. Nursing decreases rates of hypertension and cardiovascular disease. If baby is sick or exposed to an illness, mom’s milk will change (sometimes even in color) to naturally treat the illness. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of covid-19 for baby.
The image of my babies looking up at me with pure peace in their eyes while they nurse is a core memory. I can feel the shadow of their weight in my tired arms. The long nights rocking in a chair with my newborn were the best kind of hard. The tiny indent of an ear on my forearm after a day of cluster feeding is a gift.
There are no ‘easy’ days of parenting. But every decision, every day is worth the sacrifice.
